Sunday, October 26, 2008

discovery

Alright! I'm finally on a site where I can blog. I have been trying to find a good site that I was comfortable with for months. Here it is!

I have just moved to Birmingham Al. I'm pretty sure we made some people mad when we chose Alabama over South Carolina. But we really felt like God was calling us here. Why? I'm not sure yet. We just found a Church in the area that we are really excited about going to. Having been burnt by several churches in the past 5 years it is nice to feel like we are somewhere that we can plug in and be useful while still being fed.

That may be why we are here; to recover from the last three years. I have to say that I am very tired. My husband and I graduated from college, got married two weeks later and two months after that moved 5 hours away from all that we had ever know. Friends, family, support groups...all gone. We were led to believe that those things would be there for us in our new town; they lied. Very long story short, we became what people wanted us to be. We did what we had to do to make people happy. I know that I lost myself in that process, if I even knew who I was to begin with.

Here we are now, no longer in ministry, no longer with people looking over us wanting us to be someone that we are not. No one is demanding anything from us, not really. Our jobs are hard work. They are challenging. But if we don't want them to be, we could step back. It's a calming feeling for me.

Do I ever want to be in ministry again?? hmm. That's a good question that I don't have the answer to right now. Currently, I'm really enjoying coming home, cooking dinner and cleaning house....well, the house cleaning is optional. :) I'm happy to spend time with my husband with out being stressed out about where we have to go and what we have to do next.

I'm figuring out who I am. I'm changing how I dress, how I do my hair and many other things. Maybe I'm just at that age. Maybe this is normal and I'm right on time. I don't know, but I'm feeling very liberated to be out from under the unrealistic expectations of the southern baptist churches that we were once apart of. I'm very excited to see the real me sneak through a little more each day.

I would like to introduce you to the new me...

2 comments:

Courtney said...

Change is so liberating isn't it! I am so happy for you now that you are happy! Since you have a blog now do you want me to make you a blog banner???

weddedbliss said...

i would love it if you made me a banner!! Sorry it's been a while since I posted. how you doing?